You may know the Song of Songs by heart and quote volumes of Silver Age love poetry, but when a person falls in love, they feel that no one in history has ever felt the same. It seems unique to them alone: an explosion of emotion, joy, and an extraordinary surge of energy that lifts them towards the clouds. And it feels as if you are already soaring higher and higher…
He or she is still only human
But in reality, your beloved is still just a person.
…even if your meeting happened on the most principled Christian dating site, remember: every human being is imperfect. Sooner or later, the euphoria fades; that intensity cannot last forever.
Being human, your spouse will become ill — perhaps at the most “inconvenient” time for you. They will forget things — even things you considered deeply important. And you will need to learn forgiveness, even when the issue is not sin but inconvenience or differences in interests.
Another painful disappointment may be different expectations about “how things should be”. For example, one spouse believes two loving people must go to bed at the same time; the other prefers working late at the computer. If one person always gives way and constantly steps over their own needs, they can gradually lose their sense of self.
Restricting another person’s freedom is the wrong path; your spouse cannot and should not be expected to satisfy your every expectation all the time.
The fundamental difference between reality and our idealised picture of it is this: we are all sinful, and even the most sincere and close relationships can wound deeply.
When we choose a Christian dating site to look for our “other half”, we seek a kindred soul, focusing on the good qualities of the person we choose. Christian relationships more often lead to marriage, where we have the opportunity to show grace to one another. And this helps us draw closer to God, the true source of strength and light.
Spouse — one flesh with you
“A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24).
The phrase “one flesh” appears after the Bible’s account of Eve’s creation. Adam recognised that Eve was part of himself. Ideally — physically, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, financially, and in every other way — a couple should become one whole.
However, there is no perfect “soulmate”. Building a strong and happy family requires effort and the investment of one’s own heart. People who flutter from one relationship to another like butterflies, as soon as first passion fades, keep searching for happiness but never truly find it, because their impatience drives away potential life partners.
In truth, only one thing is needed: learn to love without demands or conditions, as He loves. Then Love becomes real and can last a lifetime.