Many people feel discouraged when the search for their “other half” leads nowhere. Most do not even understand why their relationships do not last, or why they do not meet someone they can truly love. To see the real reasons, we must look deep within ourselves. Could loneliness really be God’s design for us?
Or is the issue somewhere else?
Three common mistakes
The answer is often known to us, yet — consciously or unconsciously — ignored:
- Some people start relationships with marriage in mind, but then subconsciously begin to “sabotage” those relationships, as if testing a potential husband or wife “for strength”. They put the person they like on emotional “rollercoasters”: jealousy, mistrust, excessive demands, hurt over small things — one test after another. It is important to realise that such behaviour is almost always driven by fear of genuine closeness. It can destroy even the strongest attachment: “...perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with torment” (1 John 4:18).
- Sometimes the opposite happens. Instead of waiting for someone truly worthy, a person agrees to the first available partner. Better than being alone, right? No, not right. A “random” person will never become truly close, time and emotional energy will be wasted, and another disappointment will follow.
- The desire to find an “ideal” life partner is another fatal mistake. The person who exists only in our fantasy simply does not exist in real life. If your checklist of imagined qualities feels essential, shorten it to five… and even if you meet someone who matches every item, they may still not be the person God intends for you.
Let each person simply be themselves — that is true freedom. Every one of us is part of God’s perfect design.
Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love
Yet daily life reminds us that even the most perfect design can be damaged. A person and their happiness may be separated by an emotional “wall” they built in the past: disappointment and betrayal, indifference, hurt, and stories of broken families among friends and acquaintances are the most effective “bricklayers”.
Do not let them wall you off from life!
Our Christian dating site is built on another principle: God’s Spirit is the Spirit of love. God’s law is love. We must stop blaming the world for all our troubles and start learning from our own past. Failed relationships are not punishment; they are experience meant to make us stronger, more honest and more open.
Do not turn your home into an emotional fortress or shelter. There is no point joining a “lonely hearts club”, and certainly no point replacing human connection with daily “dates” in front of the TV. Remember, God has already prepared the time and circumstances of your future meeting… and who knows, perhaps for you He has planned that life-changing meeting online, on the pages of our site…
You only need to reach it.
Wishing you a blessed and joyful journey!